Walking hand in hand with my father,
down the sandy isle,
Seeing the joyous faces on either side,
They are happy, but I am ecstatic.
All around me are my loved ones,
Sitting in little wooden white chairs,
On a beautiful beach filled with great green palms.
Little girls in front of me,
Tossing beautiful flowers,
making a colorful path.
My toes sinking into the flour-white sand,
My long, white, princess dress
and veil flowing in the wind,
My hair, swept down my face.
Reaching the end of the isle,
Tears flow down my face,
Being careful not to ruin my makeup.
At the end of this picturesque scene,
I see the glowing face of the love of my life.
The priest gives his speech,
We both say our vows,
And finally, the most important words,
I do.
Allie, I loved your poem! It had great vocabulary and a really great ending. Saying "I do" right at the end gives the reader something to think about, great job!
ReplyDeleteThis poem is really sweet. I agree with Karen; the ending is very cool--the entire piece has a build up, and then you finish it off with "I do".
ReplyDeleteI love the end... like Lian and Karen! I also like the beginning when you said "Walking hand in hand with my father". That's a great moment to capture--an important part of a wedding--and just this one sentence made the picture perfectly clear. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThis was a really descriptive poem and I could really picute the visual in my mind. Thinking about this scene makes me so happy. I love it. I think that some of your sentences in your poem could be broken up more into to parts to make it seem more like a peom...if you know what I mean. haha.Overall, i am very proud of you:)
ReplyDeleteLike Karen said, your ending was really good! Ending with "I do" closes off a wedding poem perfectly. Your vocabulary was great too. Nice job! :)
ReplyDeleteokay what!! this is amazing!! It makes me extremely happy :) you know why!! hehe.....but your sentence structure is excellent and I can totally hear your voice in this piece! Just a suggestion, you might want to make the line "Tossing beautiful flowers making a colorful path" two lines. Might make it flow nicer! But other than that nicely done :)
ReplyDeleteAllison, this was fantastic! I love this subject, weddings just give me chills and make me so happy. You should be very proud of your writing ability. Your vocabulary was great and you created a perfect picture. I agree with Taylor, there was a couple times you could've split up the sentences a little more:) This was great though allie. :) i loved writing about this with you guys..
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like your half-way to having your whole wedding planned out! Sweet poem. Am I invited to any of these weddings? My wife and I will behave, and sit in the back, okay?
ReplyDelete