Deep blue water rushes by and by,
Crashing into the boulders ,
Again, and again.
What a hard life,
I stand there watching
The waves struggle as I,
Stand there, watching my life go by.
Hours pass, and I am still there.
Wondering, why there are obstacles,
That keep us from an easy life
If there were no obstacles,
There would be no reward,
For the life we have,
For the life that we have worked,
And for the life that we live for.
I like this poem quite a bit. I like the use of clear symbolism, and how you are trying to pace the reader by spacing the lines differently. I would consider allowing the reader to imterpret the poem more though, and not use words that are too revealing.
ReplyDeleteThis is a really nice poem. I like how you think about how if there were no obsticles, therewould be no reward. That's a really good concept.
ReplyDeleteAllie,
ReplyDeleteThis poem has a really cool meaning. The way you wrote it made you sound so smart and sophisticated. It really gave my a lot to think about.
-Karen
I really like this poem. I love how it shows what Mona said,that if there were no hard times, there would be no good times. The title of your blog is really cool, too. So is your Meez. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI really like this poem. It has a great flow to it, and the meaning behind it is really cool. Great job. :)
ReplyDeleteThis poem was really good! It seems like there is a lot of symbolism and paradox behind all of it which made it really meaningful. Keep up the good writing :D
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this peom. I like the way had just a few words rhymed; that way it does not sound cheesey, but flowed nicely. Maybe next time you could continue the thought a little longer and make a larger poem. Otherwise, there is nothing I would change about it.
ReplyDeleteI really like your poem especially the ending. IT's really awesome how you used the concept of paradox. I love all your pictures:)
ReplyDeleteWOW! Allie, that was a really good poem. I love how it actuallly sounds the way life actually is. It really describes that enable to get through like with something to look forward to; as you called it "reward". It is a really cool peom and I think that you should keep up the good writing, because obviously you are already doing a great job... haha...:) Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteWOW! I really like this poem :) I loved how there was just a little bit of rhyming; made it sound more sophisticated. Nicely done :D
ReplyDelete